Forgetful

An elderly couple (Pak Pandir & Mak Andeh) is getting ready for bed.

Mak Andeh says "Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house."

Pak Pandir says, "I'll go get some".

Mak Andeh says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry."

Mak Andeh adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget."

Pak Pandir says, "I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."

Away he goes.

Hours later he comes back and hands Mak Andeh a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH".

Mak Andeh says, "I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."

Study = Fail

Water on Mars

source

Danger

Prison Break

 

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.

 

While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"