Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Prison Break

A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.

He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."

To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"

Father's Day

No Smoking

Online Dating

My boyfriend and I met online and we'd be dating for over a year.
I Introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the internet.
He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.
Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, " I just used a regular 56K modem."

source: Anne Mccone (Reader's digest)

Job Seeker

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