Sunday, June 28, 2009
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Sunday, June 21, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Forgetful
An elderly couple (Pak Pandir & Mak Andeh) is getting ready for bed.
Mak Andeh says "Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house."
Pak Pandir says, "I'll go get some".
Mak Andeh says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry."
Mak Andeh adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget."
Pak Pandir says, "I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes.
Hours later he comes back and hands Mak Andeh a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH".
Mak Andeh says, "I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
Mak Andeh says "Oh I am just so hungry for ice cream and there isn't any in the house."
Pak Pandir says, "I'll go get some".
Mak Andeh says, "Vanilla with chocolate sauce, with whipped cream on top and a cherry."
Mak Andeh adds, "Please write it down, I know you'll forget."
Pak Pandir says, "I won't forget; Vanilla with chocolate sauce, whipped cream, and a cherry."
Away he goes.
Hours later he comes back and hands Mak Andeh a paper bag. "In it is a "HAM SANDWICH".
Mak Andeh says, "I told you to write it down! You forgot the mustard."
Friday, June 12, 2009
Thursday, June 11, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Prison Break
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife:"Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck." If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He wwas whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!"
Online Dating
My boyfriend and I met online and we'd be dating for over a year.
I Introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the internet.
He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.
Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, " I just used a regular 56K modem."
source: Anne Mccone (Reader's digest)
I Introduced Hans to my uncle, who was fascinated by the fact that we met over the internet.
He asked Hans what kind of line he had used to pick me up.
Ever the geek, Hans naively replied, " I just used a regular 56K modem."
source: Anne Mccone (Reader's digest)
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
The Funny Quote
#1
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.
Will Rogers
#2
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read. Groucho Marx
#3
I can't understand why I flunked American history. When I was a kid there was so little of it. George Burns
#4
I don't care what is written about me as long as it isn't true.
Katherine Hepburn
#5
Art, like morality, consists in drawing the line somewhere.
G. K. Chesterton
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